438. Death in a Convent

Fifty years ago, if a police inspector from a town on the southern English coast was called into a convent to investigate a possible homicide, the death itself would be the least of his problems. He would first have to face the barrier of secrecy, all in good faith of course, erected by the nuns themselves. Here is an extract from my WIP with the possible title “The Reluctant Novice”.

‘Dreadful accident,’ the well built, somewhat overweight detective said as the body was being taken away. He went over to Mother Canute, ‘if accident it was,’ he continued in subdued tones. ‘Were you here when it happened?’

            ‘No… Yes!’  Mother Canute quickly corrected herself. The detective ran his forefinger down one side of his moustache and then the other side, placed his hand inside his raincoat and took out a small pad.

            ‘It is either, ‘yes’, or it is ‘no’,’ he said suspiciously, ‘it can’t be both.’ Mother Canute remained silent, ‘When you have decided which one it is, maybe you could inform me… er…?’     

‘I can tell you exactly what has happened,’ Mother Sebastian announced as she burst through the doors. The detective turned slowly in her direction.

            ‘And who may you be?’ he said openly irritated by the interruption.

            ‘The Reverend Mother General!’

            ‘Actually,’ the detective said insufferably, ‘I was referring to your name and none of your Reverend this and  Mother that, I want your real name, you know, the one that’s noted down at the registry office in town.’ 

            ‘Sebastian, Mother Sebastian, and that’s all you need to know.’

            ‘Oh no it isn’t,’ the detective said nonchalantly as he scribbled something in his notebook. ‘Well?’ he asked as he continued to scribble.

            ‘You are not the only one to be in possession of a notebook and pen.’ Mother Sebastian said irritably as she pulled out her own black leather agenda, wrote something on it and tore the sheet which she handed to the detective disdainfully saying, ‘Here, that’s what you want, isn’t it?’ The detective gave a wry smile, ‘but you will under no circumstance disclose that name to anyone here...’ The detective was about to speak. ‘ In this convent that person does not exist,’ Mother Sebastian said pointing to the name on the paper. The detective scratched his forehead in total lack of comprehension. ‘So you will continue to call me with the title and name that legitimately appertains to me- namely Reverend Mother General Sebastian!’

            ‘Well, er, whoever you are... Were you present when the, let’s for the moment say so called accident happened…?’ The detective asked resigned as he thumbed over the grey cover of his pad.

            ‘No, but…’ Mother Sebastian began.

            ‘Then I don’t need to speak to you…’ he interrupted quickly, much to Mother Sebastian’s disbelief.

            ‘It’s my fault!’ Irene said immediately. The detective swivelled on his heels to look in her direction.

            ‘I am to say whose fault it is, Sister Irene!’ Mother Sebastian admonished. The detective turned his head first in one direction then in the other, to whoever was speaking next.

            ‘Excuse my interrupting you ladies, but I am the ONLY one who can say whose fault it is!’ 

            ‘Not in my convent, you don’t!’ Mother Sebastian said looking directly at him superciliously. ‘Are you a Catholic?’ she asked. He laughed awkwardly as if the question had made him feel uneasy.

            ‘No… but my wife is,’ he added quickly.

            ‘So you know that none of these nuns may speak for themselves, they can only speak through me.’  He leaned back resting on one leg as if reflecting.

            ‘Are you saying, I am to speak to you and only to you?’ He tipped the brim of his hat with his index finger, ‘I’m afraid that just won’t do!’

            ‘You obviously don’t have much to do down at that sea-side office of yours,’ Mother Sebastian said coldly, ‘otherwise you would not be wasting your time on unnecessary details.’  The detective took a step closer to Mother Sebastian,

            ‘Very well, Mother Superior...’

            ‘Reverend Mother General, is my title.’

            ‘Let’s begin with you,’ the detective said ignoring the nun’s interruption, ‘tell me all I am supposed to know about the accident,’ he said carefully placing a notable emphasis on ‘accident’. ‘The first thing I need to know who was in the common room supervising…’

            ‘I was supposed…’ Irene interrupted immediately. The detective looked round intrigued.

            ‘Sister Irene!’ Mother Sebastian flared at once, ‘I did not give you permission to speak.’

            ‘Ah…’ the detective mouthed ironically, ‘that’s how it works… you are the one who brings these marionettes to life, are you?’  Mother Sebastian turned away disgusted. The detective took another step closer to Mother Sebastian and another, ‘If you don’t let them open their mouths, Mother, Reverend General,’ he said bending towards Mother Sebastian, his hat almost touching her head, ‘I will whisk the lot of you on my ‘Black Maria’ and take you down to that boring station of mine, where I do nothing but stare out of the window, with my legs cocked up on the desk, all day.’